February 24, 2025 · Ravi Taxali

What to be Happy? Focus on Yourself, not Others

Did you know that one of the main reasons for unhappiness is constantly comparing yourself with others? The worst part is that we usually compare ourselves to those who appear “better off” by society’s standards — more money, a bigger house, fancier cars, a higher job title, and so on. Even the slightest hint that someone may get ahead of you can create stress — and you may feel compelled to outdo that person. Let me give you an example: you are driving your car on a highway, and someone tries to pass you. Have you noticed that the moment someone tries to pass you, you instinctively increase your speed? And, if that person manages to pass your car, you try to pass that person as soon as possible. Deep down, you simply don’t want anyone to get ahead of you. But, do you know that there will always be someone ahead of you? Do you think that while driving on a highway, you can reach a spot where no car will be ahead of you? You continue to drive your car at your own comfortable speed, and let others drive at their own speed. Why should it bother you if they go faster? At the end, everyone will reach the destination, one might reach a few minutes earlier!

*Photo by* *Noelle Otto* *from* *Pexels*

In India during the 1980s, there was a popular television advertisement for Rin detergent that asked in Hindi: “Bhala Uski Kameez Meri Kameez Se Safed Kaise?” — which translates to, “How is his shirt whiter than mine?” If your shirt is clean and white, why should it bother you if someone else’s shirt appears whiter? And we extend this comparison to everything. Let me give another example: I moved to Canada in 1997, and in 1999, I bought a small 3-bedroom house, which I have been living in since then. My brother moved to Canada in 2002. He bought his first house in 2003, a second a few years later, and last year purchased a home almost three times the size of mine. If my brother chose to buy a larger, more lavish house, why should that concern me if my home comfortably meets my needs?

There are nearly eight billion people in the world. Do you know that your fingerprints are unique, and it is almost impossible that your fingerprints will match those of another human? Every person is unique — with different abilities, intelligence, skills, education, family background, and environment. Therefore, the idea that you must never “fall behind” others is fundamentally flawed. History shows that attempts to create perfectly equal living standards across entire populations have not succeeded. There is huge income inequality even in China, the largest communist country in the world. The world is not fair to everyone, and some people are either lucky or have unfair advantages due to their family background, culture, race or even skin colour. Some people may appear more “successful” or “prosperous.” However, if you have enough to meet your needs, why should someone else’s abundance make you unhappy?

Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side

Everyone has struggles you may know nothing about. On social media, people always post good stuff — happy moments, beautiful travel destinations, birthdays, new home or new car pictures, etc. If your ten-year-old car runs perfectly well, why should it bother you if a friend or sibling buys a new car every five years? Why should you care whether your relatives go on vacation to Europe or Hawaii? Rather than focusing on what others do, focus on what you like or what gives you happiness. If you enjoy camping in a provincial park, you do that and let others go wherever they like to go for vacation. If your needs are met, don’t let someone else’s millions disturb your peace. You must live your life the way you want to live, not the way society or social media expects you to live.

One practical suggestion:
If you find yourself constantly comparing, consider taking a break from social media platforms such as Facebook or Instagram. Even a temporary pause can significantly reduce unnecessary stress.

Final Thoughts

Some people will always be ahead of you; ignore them. Everyone can’t be number one in every field; however, everyone has the potential to be the number one human being. Focus on yourself. Be kind to yourself and to those around you, and you will be far happier. If you waste all your energy trying to outpace others, you will only create stress for yourself and for your family. Life is a journey, not a race — and it truly doesn’t matter if someone else reaches a milestone before you.

What are your thoughts on this post? Share your comments with us.

Stay ahead of the curve. Subscribe here to get notified whenever I publish a new guide or tool.