Is My Life Controlled by Destiny?

Is my life controlled by destiny — something predetermined — or is everything that happens merely a matter of chance? Can I shape my life through my actions? Let us explore these questions, and you can draw your own conclusions.

On June 23, 1985, Air India Flight 182 departed from Montreal for London with 329 passengers and crew members on board. The victims included infants, children, adults, and seniors from various cities across Canada. The aircraft disintegrated mid-air over the Atlantic Ocean due to a bomb explosion, killing all 329 people. Was it a chance that they were on the same flight, or did destiny bring them together that day? It is difficult to accept that their individual actions alone led them to that tragic end.

When I look back at my 61 years of life — of which I clearly remember about 56 — it sometimes appears that my journey has been guided by a predetermined destiny. Let me tell you a simple incident that took place in the early 1980s. I used to work at a company in New Delhi in 1981–1982, and one of my colleagues was C T Subrahmanium. Subrahmanium left that company to work for another company in Chennai, located about 2000 KM from New Delhi. I also left that company to work for the Government of India, and we were not in touch with each other. (There was no Internet or social media in those days!) In 1985, I went on a business trip to Bengaluru (formerly Bangalore), often called the Silicon Valley of India. On the same day, Subrahmanium was also sent by his company to Bangaluru for an official assignment. After finishing my work, I decided to visit a small store to buy a T-shirt in the evening. Subrahmanium also decided to buy something and visited the same store exactly at the same time, and we were astonished to see each other! Would you call this a pure coincidence, or did destiny bring us together? To me, it felt like destiny at work.

Okay, if you are still not convinced, let me tell you another story from my life. After passing grade 8 of my middle school with excellent marks in India, it was time to pick subjects for the higher secondary school. In those days, there were three options: Science, Commerce and Arts. Usually, top students choose Science so that they can study medicine or engineering in university. However, my parents were a little ignorant about the available study options. Besides, my father incorrectly believed that studying science would cost a lot of money which he would not be able to afford. So, I was asked to study Commerce subjects in Grade 9. However, Ashok Saxena, one of my Grade 8 classmates, believed that Science would be more suitable for me. He visited my home and convinced my parents to let me pursue Science. As a result, I switched to the Science stream — thanks to my friend Ashok… or perhaps destiny!

Destiny in Control

Did I become a medical doctor or an engineer?

In my last year of school, my uncle visited us from Canada. My parents discussed options about my immigration to Canada with my uncle, who assured us that it would work out, and advised me not to study long-duration courses like medicine or engineering; instead suggested that I study a short-duration trade course. In the end, despite my friend’s efforts, I studied neither medicine nor engineering.

Fast forward three years — while I was still pursuing my studies, my uncle sponsored my application to immigrate to Canada, which got rejected. In the end, I neither became a doctor nor an engineer, nor was I able to immigrate to Canada. Don’t you feel that my destiny is controlling my life?

Life Continues

I completed my diploma in Electronics and, in 1979, joined DCM Data Products, one of India’s earliest computer manufacturing companies. After two years of valuable experience, I received a job offer from Wipro in Bengaluru — at double my current salary. It was a lifetime opportunity for me as the IT industry was about to explode in India (Wipro is currently the 3rd largest IT company in India.) I resigned from DCM Data Products and started preparing for moving to Bangaluru. However, life — or destiny — had something else in store for me. My father was about to retire from his low paying Government job in New Delhi and wanted me to stay in New Delhi to help the family after his retirement, therefore, at the last moment, just 3 hours before the departure of my train, I decided, or rather was forced to give up my dream job.

I Become Engineer

After losing my dream job, I found a job in a small company in New Delhi, self-studied for engineering, passed the required examinations and became an Engineer. Based on that qualification, I got a well paying job in a department of the Government of India.

In the mid-1980s, I wrote technical articles that were published in Electronics For You. This magazine publisher also used to occasionally publish electronics books. As I had built up a relationship with the magazine publisher, I wrote a book on dBASE III Plus and sent it to them hoping that they would publish it. After mailing the manuscript, when I returned to my office, I met my colleague and friend Ravi Chandran and told him about mailing the manuscript to Electronics For You. Ravi Chandran suggested that I approach Tata McGraw Hill Publishing, a division of McGraw Hill Education, then a leading publisher of technical, engineering, and IT books in India. I laughed at his suggestion as I thought that Tata McGraw Hill would never publish an IT book written by an unknown 26 years old person. However, he continued applying his friendly pressure, and at the end, I made another copy of my manuscript and dropped off at the Tata McGraw-Hill office. In a few months, my first book was published by Tata McGraw-Hill — thanks to my friend Ravi Chandran. The publisher asked me to write more books, and in a few years, I became one of the best known authors of IT books in India. I also had a respectable, well-paying, secured and pensionable Government job. I got married and had two beautiful children, and owned a Maruti 800 car, which was not so common in 1990s. In a nutshell, I was enjoying a stable life in India.

Destiny is Still in Control

One day in late 1996, I happened to notice an advertisement from the High Commission of Canada about immigration opportunities. I attended the seminar, however I was not impressed by the prospects of moving to Canada. On the way out of the seminar hall, they handed over some printed material and an application form to apply for immigration to Canada. Next day, when I discussed the seminar with my colleagues, they told me that the application process is very complex and I need to hire a lawyer and pay about $5,000 to file the immigration application. I thought that the application process can’t be so complicated, so I decided to give it a try, of course without engaging any lawyer, and within a few months, my application to immigrate to Canada was approved.

I had no intention to immigrate to Canada, however after my application was approved, I decided to take leave of absence from my job for 6 months and experience life in Canada. Somehow, I convinced my wife, and we landed in Canada 1997, almost 20 years after my first immigration application was rejected!

Life was not a bed of roses during our first year in Canada, however I was reluctant to return to India, as I thought that in the back of my mind, I would keep thinking that I failed in Canada. So, I forgot my well paying secured Government job and the prospect of writing IT books, and decided to start my life from scratch in Canada. Or, perhaps my destiny wanted me to leave that and start afresh in Canada.

I can describe 100s of examples from my life where destiny played a big role in shaping my life and that of my immediate family members, but I don’t want to make this post unnecessarily long.

Who Controls Destiny?

If destiny is controlling my life, who controls destiny?

There is no easy answer to this question. Some people say that God or the Creator or some unknown power decides or controls our destiny. According to many Indian religions and Taoism, our past karma influences our present life. Some people believe that our destiny or life is controlled by circumstances. Anyway, whatever power shapes our current life, one thing is certain that it is not in our control.

Can I Change my Destiny?

Some people believe that they can control their life or destiny through their actions. I may work 20 hours a day, yet I may never become Bill Gates, the Prime Minister of my country, or even the CEO of my company. To achieve something, an action is required, but that alone is not enough.

Lord Krishna says in Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 2, Verse 47

“कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन
मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि”

“You have a right to perform your prescribed duties, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions. Never consider yourself to be the cause of the results of your activities, nor be attached to inaction.”

Besides our actions, a lot of other factors, such as the efforts of others, environment, place, situation, destiny, cumulative karmas of the people involved, and so on, affect the outcome (fruits of actions).

Why Should I Care about Destiny?

One thing is certain: our life is not entirely in our control. It can change without warning due to natural causes — floods, earthquakes, storms, pandemics — or human-made events such as accidents, violence, terrorism, or financial market downturns. If I keep blaming others or myself for whatever happened, is happening or will happen in my life, I can never be happy or at peace. On the other hand, if I truly believe that my life is not 100% in my control; all that is in my control are my actions, it opens the door to live in the present and be happy. So to be happy or at peace, we should continue to do the best that is in our control without worrying about the results, as it may not be according to our expectations. Let me put it another way: live fully in the present moment — it is the only time truly within our control. The past cannot be changed, and the future remains unknown.